nothing's bad, apart from my mom being mad at me and my parents not letting me hang out with michaela, but none of that is out of the ordinary.

nothing new happens.

nothing nothing nothing.

life can be so very boring and blah.

without you all i am is

incomplete.

i dont like the way my life is going.

( there's a screamo band recording their single in my head )

you know, its weird.

what is?

everything. everything's weird.

i have great friends, pretty good grades, im losing weight, i have an amazing family, i laugh a lot.

Even with all of that, im still empty, and i dont understand it.

i dont understand much nowadays, though.

i like how no one comments on my entries anymore.

not.

( bury me in memory  )

idk. i find myself missing a lot of stuff. i miss the way people were in middle school--how close we all were, and how free we were.

high school is much different.

i guess all im saying is everyone & everything is changing. but i dont want our relationships to change, even though they are.

i guess you really cant always get what you want.

im waiting for something exciting/interesting/unordinary to happen.

to me, anyway.

no matter what, i really do love my parents.

i don't understand why this year is so hard for me.

i think its something to do with odd numbers.

never did like those odd numbers, myself.

which picture for my myspace, loves? in one im smiling HUGE. and i mean HUGE. and in the other...i dont know. hahaha

SMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILE!!!!!!

whatever. imout♥

[	mood	|	blah	]
[	music	|	banana pancakessss	]

okay so this is reeeeeeeeeally scary. i take this test everytime and everytime the answers are very very very accurate. very.

quiz:

• You must tell 7 people about this game. [[yeahhh w.e]]

• kevin is the one that you love.[[uh no. no..no.]]

• jamie is one you like but can't work out.[[yeah basically.]]

• You care most about diana.[[meh.]]

• daniela is the one who knows you very well.[[hmm i think daniela and pooja should switch spaces.]]

• pooja is your lucky star. [[like i said, switch places.]]

• listen to your heart is the song that matches with josh.[[okay maybe jamie?]]

• build me up is the song for jamie.[[hahahahahahahah!]]

• stars is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind.[[yeah maybe.]]

• and broadway is the song telling you how you feel about life[[idk.]]

( listen to your heart lyrics )</em>

( build me up lyrics )</em>

( stars lyrics )</em>

( broadway lyrics )</em>

hmm idk. wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll school starts in 6 days. im excited, but im sooo not looking forward to the work. fafkjaksj

hey im joining chorus. ya'll better come to my concerts!

today i had a really long talk with my mom about friends and all. it was nice. i cried and shouted and all but in the end i hugged my mom, something i havent done since..my uncle died.

and these past fewdays i was at my cousin's house. i met her boyfriend and two of her other london nyu friends. they're so amazingly cool. we went minigolfing and we played a lot of cards and (well my brother mainly did this) played gamecube. it was fun. it kinda makes me think of where all of us will be in 6 years, where they are. i hope im as cool ( hahahahahaha. =] )

so who wants to hang out before school starts? <\3

[	mood	|	confused	]
[	music	|	wallflowers	]

this might go long. so basically today in WOW this guy was talking and he's like blahblahblah how many of you have more than 4 friends? and basically all of us raised our hands, right? well now im wondering if i should have raised my hand. how do you define a "friend"? someone you can hang out with? or someone who will make you feel better, include you, be there for you, and put you ahead of people? i dont even know. because frankly, if the second choice was the definition, i dont think i could name more than 3 people. sadly. okay so maybe that should be the definition of a best friend. but whatever, the point is, i'm feeling like no one is REALLY my friend. sure you're all there and i love you dearly as im sure you can feel for me, but lately, when i sit down and hang out with people, they're talking among me, not with me. ive been gone and away so much that it feels like everyone's moved on and i really only have friends to wave to in the halls and smile at, but not much more. i dont even know who i cant talk to about philosophical stuff, or still be crazy with. i remember something really funny happened a while back and i brought it up to tell some of my friends and there was an akward silence and then just a "uhh hahaha.." i hate this feeling, feeling alone and lonely and no one to talk to. i feel like idont have anyone to talk to. go ahead and say "you can talk to me". sure i can. but i want to be able to converse. i dont just want to tell someone. i want to go back to 2nd grade and "talk about everything and discuss" like.."OMG JASON HAS COOTIES."

i just want to scream.

another thing. i miss these days where we'd laugh like crazy.

bffl?

( gahd. )

[	mood	|	full	]
[	music	|	THE ACADEMY IS	]

yesterday was my birthday!!! yaaaaaay. i went to disneyland with carina, rayna&&diana. im sorry if i didnt invite you, but i couldnt. so guess what? im 14. and no, it doesnt feel different hahaha

i leave for camp on sunday, and im really NOT looking forward to it. i need to hang out with everybody before, because then i'll be gone for FOUR weeks!!!
sooooo i was thinking that on Tuesday/Wednesday all you cool cats should come over and we can all pitch in and order pizza and watch tv and talk and be cool. okay? tell me if you're free and if you want to hang out. meryl, daniela, erika, carina, austi, NICHOLE, diana, etc. ive promised all of you that we will hang out, and we need to!! soo yeah. tell me if that sounds cool. alright now for a bunch of awesome pictures..not from yesterday, cuz im much too lazy/tired to resize all the pictures.

( yayyy )

[	mood	|	calm	]
[	music	|	motion city soundtrack	]

I wrote this random caption yesterday in my diary//notebook haha. Its no where close to Carina's amazing story, but I like it..kind of. Opinions are always greatly appreciated.

[	mood	|	lazy	]
[	music	|	Unwritten Law: She Says	]

hi. i love this girl. she is one of the most amazing people ever, and im so sad that we aren't going to the same school. but our friendship will last FOREVER, and we will be buried together. or cremated together. whatev.

( Want some ice with that? )

guess what? its time for a little bit of hate...(this guy looks hilarious but whatev)

( omgzzzzzzzzzzz )